Suburbs

Southaven residents and homeowners can now be sentenced to six months in jail for having broken blinds.

You know what else comes with a six-month jail sentence under Mississippi law?

Here’s a few: disrupting a funeral, illegally carrying a concealed weapon and, strangely, practicing acupuncture without a license.

The Southaven Board of Mayor and Aldermen amended its property maintenance ordinance Tuesday night, adding broken blinds to the list of blighted property violations. Under the penalties outlined in the ordinance, repeated noncompliance could land residents and homeowners in jail for six months or see them paying a $1,000 fine — or both.

I think we can all agree this is a bit silly. Yes, you should have pride in your home, and, yes, blight can be evidence of criminal activity, as Mayor Darren Musselwhite suggested. But maybe Southaven has bigger fish to fry?

As Alderman William Jerome, the lone no vote on the amendment, told me: “Who is going to enforce it?” Code enforcement officers are currently on the hook but are they going to police every house in the city? And if crime is the concern, Jerome is worried for code enforcement officer’s safety. They are unarmed. A suspected criminal may not be.

But there are plenty of reasons a person’s blinds could be broken, and most aren’t because the resident is selling dope and broke the blinds trying to look out for the cops.

I have a cat who chooses to sleep all day and then practice his parkour skills exclusively at 2 a.m. He uses my blinds as a stepladder whenever he sees a bug on the window. You can imagine what this does to the blinds.

I don’t live in Southaven, but if I did and they wanted me to do six months because of my cat, we’re both going to jail.

Now, of course, prosecution is a last resort, according to the ordinance. A code enforcement officer is first supposed to give a resident notice that they are not in compliance. If the resident doesn’t fix the problem, the city can take them to court. Even after that, if someone is found guilty, they still get 90 days to fix the issue before they could end up in jail.

A person would have to be pretty stubborn to get all those chances and still end up in jail. But, maybe jail shouldn’t be on the table at all over broken blinds. Maybe we leave it at a simple fine?

If so, how much?

A quick Amazon search tells me blinds are going for around $30 to $60.

My idea: Shoot down the middle and call it a day at $50. - Suburbs reporter Aarron Fleming.

We hope you enjoy reading the latest news from our suburban reporters. If you’re a Daily Memphian subscriber, we appreciate your support. If not, please sign up for unlimited access to all of our local news coverage.