RICHMOND, Ind. — Desmond Bane was late to his own draft night party.

So a night of waiting — perhaps a little bit longer than anyone expected — had to wait a few minutes more. First on Bane’s list of priorities was to share the moment with the person who meant the most to him. He could “turn up” afterward. 

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“At that point, (his great-grandmother) had started to have more bad days than good days,” said Bane’s second cousin, Adria Morken. “He knew the night was going to take a lot out of her, and she needed to go straight to bed right afterward. 

“So, I don’t think any of the cameras caught it, but after he was picked, he ran out into the front yard, like ‘Yes! Yes!’ Everyone dispersed to the bar we had rented out to celebrate. 

“When he came back in, he was asking where Grandma had went. We told him we put her in bed. He went and laid with her in bed for like 20 minutes to talk with her and share that time before he went to celebrate with everyone else.”

It happened hours after Bane — now a third-year star guard with the Memphis Grizzlies — had sat next to her on the couch, intermittently holding her hand as they waited on the announcement. 

The moment illustrates the bond between Fabbie Bane, who died in February 2021, and her basketball star great-grandson. Those who were around both Desmond and Fabbie called their connection almost unexplainable. 

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Desmond will be the first to say that she, along with his great-grandfather Bob Bane, deserves acknowledgment for building him into the man he has become. 

“My great-grandmother, she meant everything,” Desmond said. “She raised me when she didn’t have to. She instilled all of my morals, taught me how to work hard and taught me how to be a good person. She gets the credit for everything.”

Taking Desmond in

Desmond Bane’s mother Marissa had him at a very young age, and his father lived out of the country, which Desmond learned once he became a teenager. 

When Desmond turned 2 years old, the family was looking to place him in a more stable situation. Eventually, the decision was made to move him in with his great-grandparents. 

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At the time, Fabbie and Bob were in their late 50s and early 60s, respectively. They were still hosting family dinners every weekend, and they lived in the center of a neighborhood dubbed Baneville, which meant family members with children around the same age would always be nearby. 

That included Adria Morken, whose two daughters became like sisters to Desmond. Recently, she has worked as Desmond’s chef in Memphis. 

“She (Fabbie) would say things like, ‘We are going to do right by him, we’re going to use the whole family, and we’re going to send him to Catholic school,” Adria Morken said. 

Adria Morken had a special place in her heart, and a special level of understanding, for the connection between Fabbie and Desmond. 

“They really loved each other like no love I have ever seen.”

Adria Morken
Desmond Bane’s second cousin

“She was the most amazing person in the whole world. Actually, Grandma raised me too,” Adria Morken said. “My mom had me super young, and (Fabbie) took me, the oldest of three siblings, and when my sister was born, she took my sister. 

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“My mom was co-parenting but trying to be on her own, and then she had my brother. Eventually, my sister went back, but I stayed with Grandma until I was 7 years old.

“She never kept me from my mom, and I’m sure that they had the same relationship that teenagers do with parents. But Grandma always showed me love.”

That was just what Fabbie did. She took care of people. 

“She came from very humble beginnings,” Adria Morken said. “She was raised in New Mexico, and because of her age, she quit school to take care of her siblings to help her mom. They didn’t have the best dad. 

“But you would have never known that. She just wanted to take care of people and wanted everyone to feel loved, be loved and do things out of love.”

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It came so naturally for her that nothing ever felt out of the ordinary. 

“We didn’t come from wealth, but she was a seamstress, and she would dress us to a T,” Adria Morken said. “Because she would see what the other kids were wearing at school, and she wanted us to be able to look like that, too.

“I almost didn’t even realize that I lived with Grandma, and not my mom, because she was always hosting and our family was always there.”

The leader of ‘Baneville’

There is no question about who the matriarch of the Bane family was.

It was Fabbie, the woman intensely committed to keeping everyone close and spending time with each other. Her devotion to maintaining a family setting, as well as her loving attitude, made her beloved by everyone.

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But Desmond, especially at a young age, wanted her all to himself.

“He wouldn’t want to share Grandma with nobody,” said Molly Morken, Desmond’s younger cousin.

As he grew older, their bond continued to strengthen. More than anyone else, family members say Fabbie had a soft spot for Desmond. 

“Their relationship was unlike any that I have ever seen, and I have a teenage son,” Adria Morken said. “Grandma and Desmond would be on the couch, and big ol’ teenage Desmond would be curled up next to her. They would hold hands and laugh. He would give her heck, and she would give it to him right back.

“The other day, he said to me, ‘Now, what is for dinner?’ I told him about all of it. ... He said, ‘Hey, if that was Grandma, she would have said, ‘It’s food, Desmond, now eat it. It’s food. Come in here and eat.’”

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“They really loved each other like no love I have ever seen.”

When it came to sports, Fabbie was set on giving Desmond every opportunity to be successful, even if she never envisioned him as a professional athlete.

She drove him to practices for football, baseball and basketball. She even traveled out of town to take him to different AAU tournaments — just the two of them, road-tripping. 

“There’s a story about when Desmond was being a little bit of a turd about her coming in and being in the stands or whatever,” Adria Morken said.

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“He said, ‘Can’t you just wait in the car?’ She would respond, ‘For hours?’ ... But she would do it sometimes! She would do it.”

But just because Fabbie would do anything for Desmond didn’t mean she was a pushover. She stood firm on what she believed in, and that was discipline. 

It was Fabbie who insisted Desmond attend Catholic school because it had rules. She was strict with his curfew. She always wanted to know where he was and what he was doing. There was no budging. 

“Desmond and I used to have a joke where I would ask him, ‘Who is the meanest woman you know?’” Tony Bane said.

“He would say, ‘Grandma Bane!’ Then we would laugh about it. 

“We would do it right to her face, and she would always say, ‘Hey! I am not!’”

No one actually believed it. 

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“She was one of the greatest women I’ve ever met,” said Jacob Rogers, one of Desmond’s childhood friends. “From the first day I met her, she treated me like her own. She cooked us dinner and drove us to tournaments. She was the true essence of a community grandma.”

Great-grandpa Bob

But the story of Fabbie and Desmond’s relationship can’t be told without mention of Desmond and great-grandfather Bob Bane.

Bob, married to Fabbie for 64 years, was a silent leader behind the scenes, according to his son, Tony Bane. 

“He was definitely the cool grandpa,” Adria Morken said. “He would go to work, then come back and probably tip himself a little bit of Maker’s Mark.”

Desmond credits Bob for teaching him how to have a strong work ethic.

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Bob Bane served in the U.S. Air Force, then worked several mechanical and maintenance jobs, nearly losing his arm in a workplace accident, according to Tony Bane.

It never felt like Bob transitioned out of the working lifestyle. 

“He was the guy that was retired but was out mowing the lawn or fixing anything that was broken,” Desmond said. “There was never a dull moment with him.”

Bob, who was 87, died in July 2020. That was the same year Desmond turned pro, and COVID-19 complications pushed the date of the NBA Draft from June to November. 

So, on draft night, when he was selected at No. 30 overall with the final selection of the first round, Desmond and Fabbie placed a picture of Bob on the coffee table in front of them, hoping to keep his presence in the room. 

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Special connection

As Desmond played through the start of his rookie season, his great-grandmother reached an age where she needed consistent attention.

Adria Morken was one of a few family members who took shifts spending time with her at Fabbie’s home, as did hospice caretakers.

But family members still did not anticipate her death on Feb. 9, 2021.

“We did not know it at the time, but Grandma was passing away kind of during (a Feb. 8, 2021, Grizzlies home game against the Toronto Raptors),” Adria Morken said.

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“She had been having some tough days and things like that, but she would bounce right back. ... But we were watching the game, and she was a little bit out of it, but she was really aware of what Desmond was doing. She passed the next morning.”

The last game Fabbie watched was Desmond’s first career NBA start. 

Tony Bane said he was the family member who called Desmond to tell him the unfortunate news.

At first, Desmond said he was going to return home to Richmond, although the Grizzlies had a game the following day against the Charlotte Hornets. 

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“Then he called me back and said, ‘Uncle Tony, I think I’m going to play. But can you come down?’” Tony Bane said.

“I told him, ‘I’ll be right there.’ I loaded up the car and had my buddy ride with me straight away.”

“My great-grandmother, she meant everything.”

Desmond Bane
Memphis Grizzlies guard

A day later, Bane scored what was then a career-high, finishing with 18 points, two assists and four 3-point makes. For the family, the night was a wave of emotions. 

“I don’t want to speak for Desmond — and his great-grandfather had already passed, too — but he said he felt them there that night,” Adria Morken said. “And he does not say things like that loosely.”

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After the game, Tony Bane did something he had only done once before: He asked for Desmond’s jersey. The only other time he had done that was his nephew’s first game at Indiana — his home state — after joining the NBA.

“He said, ‘How many jerseys do you want, old man?’” Tony said.

“I told him, ‘It’s not for me. This one is for the family. This is your first game after your grandma passed. We’re going to keep this for memories.’”

It is signed, hanging with the other jersey inside Tony’s home. 

For everyone in the Bane family, especially Desmond, it has taken time to grieve the passing of both Bob and Fabbie. Adria Morken said she and Desmond were able to share a thoughtful moment in December of last year, in which she described his great-grandmother’s final days. 

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As Desmond looks back at that career-high night, he feels grateful.

“It meant that everything was right,” Desmond said. “My grandma waited until I was good, and then she passed. That was my sign to keep pushing. She is there with me along the way.”

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