Memphis Tigers defensive coordinator Matt Barnes still owns the 1998 edition of a Nike Coach of the Year clinic manual he found in a Baltimore bookstore when he was 15 years old.

The reading is filled with speeches from the Top 25 coaches in the country at that time. Barnes’ copy is covered in highlights and notes that he says are probably all “wrong and crazy.”

That manual sent the teenager down a rabbit hole of researching coaching as a profession. He eventually came out on the other side as the head of a Tigers defense whose 16 interceptions last season ranked among the top 10 in the country.

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“They talked about different areas of football,” Barnes said of coaches cited in the manual. “Offense, defense, special teams, culture building, weight room, all that stuff.

“I just thought it was the coolest thing ever. It was like nothing that any other 15-year-old in the country would be interested in, but I just loved it.”

Barnes has always been enamored with the nuts and bolts of the game.

Instead of wrestling with his WWF action figures as a 6-year-old, he arranged them in football formations and took pride in making sure all of his eligible receivers were lined up properly. While the X’s and O’s of the sport are what reeled Barnes into coaching, he became more interested in the relationship side of it all as he got older.

Now he coaches more with his heart.

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“If somebody thinks of me, I would hope that they think of how much passion I have for the game of football. But also how much love I have for the human race,” Barnes said. “If I have any interaction with any human being, I want them to feel some degree of love. I’m sure it’s cliché or whatever, but it’s important to me.”

It didn’t take long for former Tigers linebacker Xavier Cullens to appreciate the affection Barnes showed in his coaching last year. Barnes had been on the job for seven months when Cullens shared his opinion of the coach at the start of fall camp.

It was a ringing endorsement from the main defensive leader at the time.

“He really loves us. That’s the biggest thing,” Cullens told The Daily Memphian then. “When you’ve got somebody who you know will go to war with you and will have your back through anything, I feel like it’ll just bring the best out of us.”

Choosing to love

Barnes makes an effort to spend time in the locker room after every practice and he’s intentional about the chats he has with players.

“At times, he (doesn’t) even bring up football,” defensive lineman Cormontae Hamilton said. “He just asks you about how your life (has) been and may share a story with you about himself.

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“But also, if we need help, Coach Barnes will sit down with you. If there’s a story that he’s already been through in his time, he’ll share that and just give you different advice. To have a coach like that, I mean, it brings you up.”

Barnes goes out of his way to establish more than a player-coach connection with the young men under his watch.

The best way to do that, he believes, is having pointed conversations. It’s easy to walk past a player with a short, “What’s up?” and keep it moving. But Barnes goes beyond a surface-level greeting as much as he can.

“I’ve had on multiple occasions spur-of-the-moment conversations that lead to teary eyes on both sides, and I take a great deal of pride in that,” Barnes said.

“I get a chance to kind of vent sometimes, but I also get a chance to hear about their lives. So many of these players have been through so much in their lives, many of them as children. For me, it’s just a constant reminder of what a blessing it is and how grateful I am for my life and just the opportunity to be here and do this.”

“If we need help, Coach Barnes will sit down with you. If there’s a story that he’s already been through in his time, he’ll share that and just give you different advice. To have a coach like that, I mean, it brings you up.”

Cormontae Hamilton
Memphis Tigers football defensive lineman

Honesty is important for Barnes during his talks. His willingness to be vulnerable goes a long way in getting players to open up about themselves.

“Sometimes I probably overshare,” Barnes said. “But it’s because I’ve learned those lessons and I’ve made those mistakes. And I want them to avoid those things.”

Emphasizing player relationships didn’t always come naturally for Barnes. He was more immersed in scouting reports and watching film early in his career.

Barnes started his coaching journey as a running backs coach at Delaware in 2009 after playing linebacker at Salisbury University in Maryland where he was a team captain and helped the Sea Gulls win three NCAA Division III ECAC bowl games.

He had coaching stops at West Virginia Wesleyan (offensive coordinator), Florida (graduate assistant), Michigan (defensive analyst), Maryland (special teams coordinator/linebackers coach) and Ohio State before landing at Memphis. He was special teams coordinator for the Buckeyes 2019-20 and defensive backs coach in 2021.

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Barnes stepped in as interim play-caller for the Maryland defense in 2018 and for Ohio State in 2021. Memphis is the first school where Barnes holds the full-time defensive coordinator role.

He learned over the years that communication and time spent with players is most important.

“I’ve really tried hard, and I think it’s a choice,” Barnes said. “You choose to love.

“A lot of people that I talk to in coaching, they say they get into it because they love the kids, and they want to give back. I got into it because I love the game, but I subsequently found out how much I enjoy working with the young men. And I’ve gotten to the point where I enjoy that so much more than the scheme of it.”

Accountability, affection

Just because Barnes leads with his heart doesn’t mean he takes it easy on the players. It’s his job to make sure the defense is ready on game day, and sometimes that requires a little yelling.

Those moments are never easy for Barnes. He doesn’t prefer hollering at players, but he said that’s what it takes to get the most out of athletes.

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If Barnes does come down on a player, he always has an additional conversation either immediately following the exchange or after practice.

“On a human level, I say, ‘Hey, listen, I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Barnes said. “Human to human, I’m no better than you just because I’m your superior here in this building. I’m not your superior in life. We’re all brothers here.’

“I want to coach football with great passion, but I genuinely do want every person I encounter to at least feel a little bit of love. If I’m just screaming at you and I go about the rest of my day, how much love is really there? That would make me a phony. I’m yelling at you because I love you and I want you to be great. I’m also going to apologize to you because I love you and I want you to feel good about being a human being as well.”

Finding a balance of accountability and affection was brought into a better perspective for Barnes once he became a father. He compared the relationship as a coach to his reaction if his 3-year-old son, Henry, were to get close to something dangerous at home.

“I yell at him because I love him,” Barnes said. “I yell at him because I want him to have that sense of urgency to stay away from that boiling pot of water or that knife drawer.”

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Barnes uses that same philosophy in his coaching.

If a player’s actions aren’t meeting the standards of the Memphis program, it’s on the coaching staff to get that corrected. Even in those moments, Barnes tries to be fully transparent.

“I say, ‘You’re not a bad person because you missed an assignment,’” Barnes said.

“This is sort of a pretend thing that we’re doing here. But we all signed up to say, ‘Other than our family, our faith and maybe a handful of other things, football here at Memphis is going to be one of the most important things that we do in our lives.’ So if we’re all in on that it’s my job to hold us all accountable there.”

The established connection with the players is most valuable during the moments when Barnes has to light a fire under them.

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As difficult as those situations can be for both parties, there is a level of trust present that allows players to know Barnes will remain on their side, no matter what happens.

“It makes it tremendously easier just knowing this coach has your back through it all,” defensive lineman Jaylon Allen said. “Through the ups, through the downs, through the hard times, through the rough times — I know he got me. I know he really enjoys being around us. (He) enjoys learning and getting to know every single player and getting more confidence in them.

“(We know) during those hard times he’s not doing this just to get mad, but he’s doing this for his job and his love and passion for the game.”

Barnes’ football knowledge speaks for itself.

The 37-year-old has been coaching for 14 years and did a solid job last season with the defense, which was third among American Athletic Conference teams and 28th nationally in rushing yards per game allowed.

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Barnes is looking for his unit to be even better this year. Getting through to his players and making that happen starts with something he read over 20 years ago.

“Almost every coach (in the Nike manual), probably 90%,” Barnes said, “would say something to the effect of, ‘They (student-athletes) don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.’”