Nora, my wife, called from deep in an online rabbit hole in another room, “Hey, guess what Rosebud went for last week.”

“The sled?”

Conaway: It’s not this side, it’s what’s over the garden wall

“Yeah, $14.75 million.”

“No (expletive)?”

In yet another example of where our values are and yet more proof some people just have too much money, Charles Foster Kane’s boyhood sled, the elusive Rosebud from Orson Welles classic 1941 movie “Citizen Kane,” sold at auction last week for $14.75 million.

In the same auction, you could have grabbed Indy’s bullwhip for a paltry half million or so.

If you remember the beginning of the movie, old man Kane is dying when he mutters the word “Rosebud” as his last, dropping a snow globe to the floor. A reporter begins a search for the meaning of the word, and the film unfolds.

Conaway: This is my backyard, and now — all of now — has no place in it

In a July 17 article in the San Francisco Chronicle, the seller was identified as film director Joe Dante, he of “Gremlins,” and the buyer remains anonymous. I guess so. Grifters would follow this mark home and sell him or her a couple of bridges and the Epstein files.

Three of the pine sleds were left over from the film’s production. Steven Spielberg bought one for $60,500 in 1982, and the other went to an anonymous buyer for $233,000 in 1996.

Dante said they were cleaning out the Paramount Pictures film lot in 1984, once home to RKO Studios, maker of “Citizen Kane,” when someone approached him with the third sled.

“One of the crew who knew I was a fan of vintage films came to me with a wood prop and said, ‘They’re throwing out all of this stuff. You might want this,’” Dante said.

You think? “Aw, gee,” Dante may have said. “I guess I’ll take it.” That crew member would probably like a word with Dante now.

Conaway: The Fourth is in all of us

The auction house authenticated the sled by noting, “Scientific testing confirmed the sled’s period authenticity, and like the others, it bears signs of production use, including original paint, wear and removed rails likely sacrificed to wartime scrap drives.”

In other words, the rails on this $14.75 million sled are replacements.

Jeez.

As we close this sale of da Vinci’s Mona Lisa for a zillion dollars, it should be noted the face was actually painted by some other guy.

In the face of this, and in the face of our times, I’m moved to put up an incredibly valuable item of similar vintage for auction:

THE CLAW

A GENUINE 1940s ROSEBUD-ESQUE WOODEN SLED WITH ALL ORIGINAL EQUIPMENT, INCLUDING RAILS WITH ACTUAL RUST

This sled was used by Nora Ballenger Conaway as a child, our children and grandchildren and actually (probably) used by me later as a prop in several print-advertising campaigns and at least one TV-advertising campaign for various Memphis institutions, including (most likely) The Peabody Memphis, the Memphis Zoo and/or the Memphis Grizzlies. I forget. Your name, or any name you like, will be burned into the face. Except, of course, for “Rosebud.”

Conaway: After 25 years, it’s time to put some local teeth in our game

Note to bidders: the rails on this sled have every bit as much claim to being in the movie “Citizen Kane” as the rails on the $14.75 million Redbud sold at auction July 16.

ALL PROCEEDS TO GO TO WKNO-FM AND WYXR 91.7 FM

WKNO-FM is the Memphis NPR affiliate, and WYXR 91.7 FM is a nonprofit collaboration between Crosstown Concourse, The Daily Memphian and the University of Memphis.

A couple of weeks ago, as you may be aware, the president and Congress of the United States clawed back all approved federal funding for public broadcasting, negating almost 50 years of support for broadcast journalism and inspired programming guaranteed to be free of political pressure and manipulation.

In so doing, they also clawed back funding scheduled for this year to begin in the fall for WKNO — 21% of their annual budget, I’m told.

Conaway: Wide-eyed wonder, our town discovered

In so doing, they also proved why such a guarantee against political attack was so necessary.

So here we are, and those of us who depend on either or both of these stations to make it through any given day have to get creative to help these stations survive as we know them — perhaps at all.

We need to start clawing back, kicking and screaming, that which was given and guaranteed by the bodies who stole it from us in the night — literally.

Start by buying your own sled and buying it for some truly ridiculous price. This cause makes a lot more sense than $14.75 million to the director of “Gremlins.”

I’m thinking the crew member who gave that sled to Dante might be looking for him right now with Indy’s bullwhip.

Conaway: Don’t play a game in Nashville. Don’t give Nashville a dime.

Should anyone like to bid $14.75 million: Sold, this sled is yours. And that comes with free shipping. Otherwise I will accept all bids at my email address; include your name and your contact information.

Bidding will end at midnight Wednesday, July 30. I will post bids from time to time on my Facebook page — no names, just bid amounts. The winner will be announced in my column here Friday, Aug. 1.

Somebody tell Elon Musk. He seems to want to make some positive statement in Memphis. Here you go. Happy to help.

This auction is completely my invention. Neither station or any of its owners or managers — or the editor of this column — had a thing to do with this.

No checks to me, transfers from banks in the Cayman Islands to me or Venmo or PayPal exchanges — or exchanges of bitcoin, live chickens, baseball cards, rare stamps or used cars with me — will occur.

Conaway: Assault by packaging is open and shut case

Payment will be made directly to the stations in the amount of the winning bid — three-fourths to WKNO, one-fourth to WYXR.

Exchange of the sled will be made accordingly.

I’m a Memphian, bid stupidly and stay tuned.

Editor’s Note: WYXR is a partnership between Crosstown Concourse, the University of Memphis and The Daily Memphian. As part of that partnership, Eric Barnes, the CEO of The Daily Memphian, serves on the board of Crosstown Radio Partnership, which owns and oversees WYXR.