There’s a classic exchange between Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart in the old movie “To Have and Have Not.”

After kissing Bogie, she starts to leave the room, telling him that if he wants her, just whistle. Then she pauses at the door, and in that singularly sultry voice of hers, she says:

“You know how to whistle, don’t you, Steve. You just put your lips together and blow.”

Conaway: We’re a mess, and no one is responsible

That scene, and that line, made Bacall a star, and made a lot of men think about whistling. In fact, and in real life, Bogart whistled, and he and Bacall were married.

A whistle charm he gave her for a bracelet was placed in his burial urn.

Whistles work.

A dog whistle is employed by trainers to attract or instruct dogs with sounds so high-pitched that only dogs can hear them.

Since the 1990s, Merriam-Webster has defined the term “dog whistle” when used figuratively as, “A coded message communicated through words or phrases commonly understood by a particular group of people, but not by others.”

Conaway: Welcome to the world of old white men

In 2006, the Urban Dictionary was more direct in describing a dog whistle as, “A surreptitious inclusion of code words or phrases that will be heard by some of those listening, while not disturbing the other listeners, who may not appreciate the hidden message(s).”

Uh-oh, surreptitious code words or phrases, hidden messages.

Please.

Bacall used a whistle and without saying it, it was about sex, and Bogart got it. So did everybody in the audience. That was in 1944.

People have been figuratively dog whistling ever since they figured out how to put their lips together and blow in a certain way.

Me, and people like me, have been whistling for a living ever since somebody scratched the first ad on a cave wall. Whistling for products, services, people, ideas, good and bad.

Letter to the Editor: What’s not mentioned in Dan Conaway’s column

For example:

“All the news that’s fit to print” 

“Where’s the beef?”

“You deserve a break today”

“Taste good like a cigarette should”

“Melts in your mouth, not in your hands”

“Just do it”

“Can you hear me now?”

“I am a man”

“Black lives matter”

“Yes we can”

“Make America Great Again” 

“Stop the Steal”

I’ve been doing it for 50+ years. For instance, in 1974, I got you to say this in four seconds or less:

“two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun”

All of the above are dog whistles, all designed to make you come to something instead of something else. Every one of you ... every single one ... has been whistled to, and attracted to, and answered to a whistle, to a cacophony of whistles. Every one of you ... every single one ... has sorted the whistles, heard those you liked, and responded.

Every single one.

Whistling isn’t evil. Whistling something evil is evil.

You will not replace us.

Whistling isn’t racist. Whistling something racist is racist.

You will not replace us.

Whistling isn’t dangerous. Whistling something dangerous is dangerous

You will not replace us. 

Conaway: Shared idiocy, shared lives

So much of our national problem, our division, our isolation in our silos is reflected in that whistle carried as an actual sign in Charlottesville, chanted by the mob and held high as a woman died there, and whistled in so many ways since to incite people to action. 

“Please arrive early. Massive crowds expected. March to the Capitol after. Stop the Steal!!!”

Donald Trump tweeted the above invitation to insurrection on Jan. 6. Even the term “tweet” sounds like a whistle, doesn’t it?

Before your fingers start hammering out your response on your keyboard, understand that I also understand that the whole Woke movement is a massive, shrill whistle.

The terms Republican and Democrat have become dog whistles to gather on the far right and far left. The colors red and blue, and the words conservative and liberal have been co-opted into whistles.

We no longer debate. We go out in the yard, put our fingers in our mouths, and whistle for our dogs, only recognizing our own, and attacking any others.

Worse, we no longer look for truth and attribution. We merely listen for whistles and affirmation.

Remember, if they whistle and you don’t come, you are no longer their dog.

I’m a Memphian, and please vote, with your fingers in your ears.